There is a Difference Between a Wedding and a Marriage

Greetings brothers and sisters.

 Today I am going to take a slight departure from my usual scritpural reflections on the days Gospel.

 This weekend I was prividleged enough to be a witness to the wedding of one of my friends who is a parishoner at our church.   Weddings and Baptisms are a time of special points of light for everyone.  

 I particularly believe that everyone regardless of if they are currently married or not, should attend a wedding ceremony as often as possible.   

 Why you say ?   Well, its quite simple. It serves to remind us of why it is that we plan to get married,  It gives you a definitive reminder of the sacredness of the act and the institution that we desire.   It reminds us that marriage is not easy, and it is not a day, or an event, its a lifetime. 

 Weddings are a day, Marriage is a lifetime.    Everyone should also go to vow renewals if they can.   For these people are the people who weather the storms, who understand what it is that they did, and what they are still doing.  

 Many say that there is a crisis of the ordained ministry in the church, but there is a bigger marriage crisis in the world.  This crisis was brought about because people enter into marriage, or at least at somepoint in their marriage make a decsion to stop.  The biggest part is that they stop trying, and to stop communicating.   

 The first death of a marriage is when a couple decides they are done talking.    When the discussions turn into power plays, and when you start using the word *I*  instead of US or WE.   

 Marriage is a beautiful thing.  A sacred thing that should be treasured instead of scoffed at as it is today.   People speak of the high divorce rates in the world.    Divorces that are not from violence or abuse,  are brought about because the people involved were not prepared, and didnt try. 

 Love is not a feeling.  Love is a choice.  Those romantic feelings that occur in the newness of the relationship are fleeting.  They are quiickly replaced with bills, money, jobs, anxiety, and otherr earthly trappings.  You get into silly arguments about which side of the roll the toilet paper hangs on or what to watch on the television.

 A marriage is about sacrifice and giving, not about balance and trades.   Marriage is not a 50 – 50 proposition.  It is however a 110 – 110 proposition.  Because you are together for life, there will be times when you feel pushed beyond the limits of what seems you are able to stand. 

 This is the point where you should know that marriage is not 2 people but it is 3.   It is the Bride, the groom, and God.   These three components are the legs of the stool that is called marriage, and without all three legs, the stool will fall.

 Marriage is about family, and community.   It is about the family you have created by your marriage, it is your parents and siblings, and it is your spouses parents and siblings.  It is also about the community of faith that you belong to.  For it is from all these places that the influences that effect your marriage come.

You must learn to listen, to discern and to bring the information together with your spouse in order to decide what is good for your marriage.

 Secrets have no place in marriage.    It is through open communication that is given and recieved in love that the marriage grows and prospers.  

And like St Francis, I tell you in earnest, that you will preach by your example,  Others will see your marriage and appreciate and learn from what you do.    Care for your spiritual life, your spouse and your marriage, and you will find all the blessings of life that you desire.

Peace  and Good !


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